Don't Do Distance!

Yeah, I know, It's been forever since I last posted something... let's move on

I am not an expert on personal relationships. However, I have been witness to relationships of all shapes and sizes, from the prepubescent flirtations to the retired , let's finish each other's sentences, and from these I've decided to come up with some general guidelines that I'd like to follow. Do with them what you will, but I've noticed some of the healthier relationships I have seen have fallen under these guidelines. Here is the first one and I will post the others as they come to me.

Guideline 1-- Don't Do Long Distance:

Long distance relationships (LDR) can be anywhere from an hour a part to 500 miles to time zones a part, and they all have the same thing in common. Communication. Not everyone has the choice, but let's be honest, a majority of us do have a choice for entering into an LDR. The major issue I have with LDRs is not trusting the other person, it's not that I don't think I could do it or that it's a pain to relay emotions through a telephone. It's the simple fact that I find LDRs to not be FAIR. It's not fair to either person in the relationship, it's not fair to the friends of the couple in the relationship, and it's not fair to the idea of relationships themselves.

It's not fair to either person in the relationship as they do not have the other person at their disposal. Think about it, when one of the persons simply wants to hold someone, or talk to someone, there is no direct means, everything is out of reach. Few moments hold elevation to simply sitting with someone you care for deeply, talking, laughing, and just being in their presence. It's a simple gift that a relationship should provide and LDRs do not allow that.

Furthermore, there is a hint of selfishness to LDRs that you are placing on the other person and your friends. We've all been there, walking with a friend, hanging out, and then they bring up how much they miss their significant other... for the 50th time that evening. We're all having issues, we don't want to hear about it when this was something you chose.

Finally, the basis of entering a relationship with someone is that you want to be with them, both mentally and physically and you want to see where it will go. Why would you put yourself in a situation where this basis cannot be met, where the very act of "being" with someone must take place at a certain time of day when the both of you are free to get phone reception and internet. I know it's very 6 years old of me, but I will stomp my feet, hold my breath and pout, Long Distance Relationships are NOT FAIR and I don't want to play.

Forever a cynic,

DJ

Helpless Homeless?

While standing outside my building and talking with a friend, a relatively young gentleman approaches us asking if he "could ask us a question?". It is at that moment that I recognize this man as the same homeless man that approached me once a few weeks ago, and another time before about 2 months ago. At this point, I know that he is going to ask for money, so as he inquires from us his default question, "If you had the opportunity to help out someone who is homeless, would you?" I already knew my answer. So in looking away from him, to express my disinterest, I shake my head 'No' and say I would not. At which point he becomes offended and questions my friend "how do I have the nerve" to tell my friend not to help him. I reply, "I'm not telling him anything", and both I and my friend depart as the homeless man continues cursing me and calling me "a bad black man!"

Look homeless man, this goes out to you and to the rest of the homeless people of DC. Rather than accosting the students of one of the most expensive universities in the country, how about you go to the numerous local homeless shelters in DC and use those facilities that are in place to help you. This individual, in particular, irritates me because on our first encounter I graciously gave him the last two dollars I had in my pocket. The Second time, I reminded him that I already gave him money and that "I'm just a college student so all of my money goes to school."


I understand, I have been blessed and overall fortunate in having a generous family, intelligence, and all the other providential opportunities that have come my way and I am grateful for all of it. And those reasons do not exclude that I do treat all people the same and that I hold judgment for any person I meet until a reason is given. And this gentleman has given me way more than one, simply by judging me when he is the one who needs the help.

Tonight was the last straw, I am no longer giving money to homeless people, the fact that they cannot show decent courtesy in remembering the person who, "helped them out", is hypocritical to the message they are trying to tell people who 'have money'. The "Have" vs. the "Have-nots" needs to be extended to include the "Have", the "Have-nots", and the "Barely-haves". To call me a "bad black man" is an outlandish accusation coming from a man who cannot even take a few seconds to put his ownself in the shoes of another. He knows nothing about me, he doesn't know that until recently I had two unemployed parents, and now I still have one, I lived on welfare for 2 years, and that I've worked anywhere from twenty to sixty hours a week since I was fifteen, just so I can go to school and enjoy my life.

So after flicking the guy off and ranting on this blog, I know that I may be a "bad black man" but he's a "downright degenerate to the black community, the working class, and to all other actual homeless people that are truly working to better their own lives and the lives of their family."

Until life throws me for a loop again,
DJ

A Culmination of Comments

Here are some final thoughts:

I have been back in the states for a while now which has allowed me to both reminisce and reflect on my time abroad. All and all, I am overjoyed to be home. I have rested, hung out with my family, and partly settled back into my old routine. The most interesting aspect of being back home must be that I experienced hardcore culture shock. That is, culture shock when i came back, not when i went there. it took about three "pardon"s after running into people in Columbus, Ohio before i caught on that i should take things more slowly until I am used to the states. Also, i'm sure the crazy, short and crotchety homeless man that shouted at me to "go overdose you druggie" added to the culture shock. Overall, I am excited for this summer because about 5 or 6 people from my program will be here in the DC area, so i'll get to see them all. I have also realized that rather than tell one long continuous story of my time abroad, all the little stories will come out when the time is right.

so here is the end of my time in Europe, however, it does not mean that I will not be keeping people updated on the random mishaps that describe my life.

-Always in Europe,
DJ

Not Necessarily New

I was about to write a new post when i realized that due to the insufficient wireless that was at our hotel this post was never sent. so here it is, and i'll catch everyone up soon:

soh, (hhere is the earhth...)

Boredom along with other frustrations has caused our program to crack. We have been cooped up in this hotel for about two weeks and trust me when i say you can only visit the small town of Pula so many times before you have seen everything.

A basic day here in Hotel Histria, on the Istria penisula of northern Croatia, consists of waking up for breakfast some time before 9:30am. Usually you awaken by the sudden opening of your door and the maids walking in speaking to one another and shouting, "sorry, sorry, we will return". If i make it to breakfast then kudos to me, but usually i use my old D.A.R.E. teachings and I 'just say no' to waking up. At lunch we all discuss what everyone has planned and then go from there. per usual, no one has any solidified plans and most everyone goes to either take a nap or to the beach. either way, by evening everyone is well rested and ready for dinner and a night spent at the hotel night club. (the crowd makings of which include, a new DJ everynight who uses his own iPod, anywhere from four to five middle aged croatian men, and whichever young people happen to be staying at the hotel)

These carefree days may be turning somewhat boring, but they are numbered as my program is almost coming to an end. It will be interesting to see what happens as people began in leave for new places or to head back to the states because we all have become so close.

well, until next time,
DJ

Cruising Croatia!

So That's that...

I have finished my finals and now I am spending my last week in Croatia doing what i do best... nothing! My presentation and paper were on International Migration, so when i return we can have a discussion about that if you would like.

Croatia is a beautiful country, i suggest visiting it. My program has us located on the coast just outside of the town of Pula. Look it up, it's a magnificent city. And the best part of this, is that it is extremely cheap. its almost 6 Kunas to a dollar...enough said. Everyone in the group put thier money together and we took a boat cruise around the islands here. As we cruised the waves and I enjoyed the cool sea breeze, we saw old roman ruins, sea gulls, fish, olive groves and ate a delicious fish dinner.

Not too much activity has been going on as i was writing my paper except an epic laundry experience. You see, we are staying at this hotel and so in order to not pay for laundry service, my roommate, Evan, and I decided to improvise. I had some Woolite packets that you can use to wash small amounts of laundry in the sink. Therefore, using our exstensive knowlege of washing clothes all these long 2 years in college in addition to using Man Logic, a bathtub of our entire 2 weeks worth of dirty laudry was created. After a little scrubbing, a little soaking, and a lot of wringing out water, our clothes ended up on the balcony to dry in the non existant sun, due to the overcast of an appoaching storm. a few days later, most of our clothes are dry and we smell as fresh as a cool croatian breeze.

Alright mes amis, good luck with the spring and finals, and i will see you all soon!
-DJ

An American in Amsterdam

This will be a short post mainly because I must continue to work on my 30 page paper that is due soon. I just returned from Amsterdam where I have decided I will live there at some point in my life, or at the very least, go back and visit and here are the reasons why:

• All the people there were really friendly
• Museums of all sorts including the Van Gogh museum, sex museum, and vodka museum
  
• Streets there twist and turn and make it easy to get lost!
• Trains, trams, and buses run efficiently and smoothly
• Everyone seems to be high...on life
• Rijksmuseum is there
• Drink as much Heineken as you want because it will be hard to find it cheaper
  
• A lot of prostitutes (some are classy)
  
• Marijuana.

Hope you get to visit!
DJ

Crashed Computer

So,
I thought not having internet was bad, but then as fate would have it, my computer has passed away. Now, without solitaire, minesweeper, or looking through pictures, I have been reduced to going to the United Nations library (where I am currently writing this). I have traveled much these pass weeks, Paris to visit Dana, James, Ben, and Nicole, as well as Rome, Florence, and Pisa.

United Nations Library:
This grandiose compilation of buildings, situated in northern Geneva, greets me with a new surprise every time I come. To get to the library itself, i must make a right, then a left then another left, then go down some stairs and then another right, and then walk up some stairs until i reach a door (let`s just say i`ve been lost more than once). On this journey from the security gates to the front door of the library i and a friend from the program, Emily, have come across a bar, a visitors center, an open grassy area looking out onto Lac Leman, and Larry the peacock who graces us with his presence every now and then by squawking at the top of his lungs while bobbing his turquise little head (we`re pretty sure he's saying "HEEYYY").

Paris:
Paris was amazing! Ben, Dana, and James traveled there and remided me of the ridiculousness that I cant wait for back in the states. The weather was great and the food was phenomenal. From street dancers, to clubs, to finding wine on the street, to dancing on a bar, I would say that overall I have much to tell people when I get back!

Rome/Florence/Pisa:
In rome I met up with Liona and she showed me and two of my friends from the program who came along, Charlie and Andy, all around this large but compact city. We went to the Vatican and saw the Sistine Chappell, the Coloseum, the Trevi, and walked all around going up and down twisted side-streets. We ended the time in Rome with a Pub Crawl (remind me to show you the t-shirt).
In Florence, I stayed in this ridiculous hostel that had, an indoor swimming pool, computers, a bar, a dance floor, a restraunt, washers and dryers, televisions in each room, a terrace, and on that terrace a bar open till midnight. I also met up with Abby, Jen, and Matt in florence, where good times were mentioned and a secret bakery was smelled but never seen. I also took a day trip to Pisa and saw the leaning tower and yes... it is actually leaning (makes it difficult when walking the stairs to the top).

I took the night train back to Geneva from Rome, which was great as we had our own beds in a room on the train. It would have been an even better train ride back if in the middle of the night i did not wake up to realize that my backpack was not next to me but below me on the seats. I climbed out of the bunk bed and see that it is unzipped and my pants and some of my things are strewn about. luckily nothing was stolen.

I end this with a list of some amazing food I partook of in Italy:

• at least 10 different types of pizza
• Calzones
• Gelato of all different flavors
• Wine
• Gnocchi with fresh clams
• Tiramisu
• Cappuccino
• olives (still not a fan)
• dilicious unknown pastry
• fresh mozzarella with tomatoes
• Bruschetta
  
• and did i mention PIZZA!

Well, the final few weeks of my program are cramed with Amsterdam, a 30 pg paper, and Croatia...hopefully there's enough memory on my camera card!
over and out,
DJ